The One Where the Baby Runs Away
by Jakub
Summary: Joey finally comes over to help Phoebe find the baby! MAJOR romance between Monica and Chandler! Please read and write a review!
1. The Magazine

1This story takes place after the series finale..

The One Where the Baby Runs Away

All the six friends are in Chandler and Monica's apartment.

"Hey, Chandler. Can you lend me that Playboy magazine you bought yesterday before we went to the Nick's game," asked Joey with a look of happiness on his face.

"You bought a Playboy? Wow, you are unbelievable" screamed Monica who was shocked by the fact that Chandler bought a nude magazine.

"Well, I was going to buy the Sports Illustrated one, but in Playboy you actually see the women's naked body, while in Sports Illustrated you just see them in bathing suits," said Chandler trying to make a point.

"Well, you aren't getting any from me tonight and _never_ from that position," said Monica looking at the pictures with Joey.

"Mon, you know that you are pretty enough to pose for Playboy, you should take some pictures of yourself and send them in," said Rachel making a joke.

"You know what Rach, I think I will," said Monica going along with Rachel's joke and trying to scare Chandler. "Maybe I should have you take the pictures of me, Chandler. You can look at them afterwards and help me pick the ones I should send in."

"Oh No Oh No I will not let you do that and I am not going to take the pictures of you," said Chandler not catching the joke.

"I'll do it! I'll take the pictures!" shouted Joey enthusiastically. "I finally get to see Monica naked! It's about time! Rachel, you should do it with her. It could be fun and you would make a ton of money, but not only that, you will also make many guys happy including me!"

"AWH EWWW JOEY!" shouted Ross in disgust. "I will not let Rachel do that!"

"You won't let me do it? Why not? I was looking in our bedroom yesterday for my shoes and I found a dirty movie under our bed," said Rachel sharply.

"Joey gave me that!" shouted Ross.

"So does that mean you should keep it under our bed and watch it when I am not home!" screamed Rachel sounding mad.

"No No No Not while you aren't home, but while you are asleep!" said Ross.

"Ross! You are gross!" shouted Monica sounding disgusted.

"I was just making a joke!" said Ross.

"Yeah, well, leave the jokes to Chandler, although he has been a bit rusty lately," said Phoebe.

"What!" yelled Chandler with a look of shock on his face. "I am not rusty with my jokes! Quick, Phoebs, knock knock."

"Who's there?" asked Phoebe.

"Boo," said Chandler.

"Boo who?- _AWWWH_ I get it! Haha! That is funny," laughed Phoebe.

"What are you talking about?" said Monica. "That was a terrible joke!"

"No, it wasn't! You are just still mad at Chandler because he bought that dirty magazine, of which I know for a fact that you can't go in any of those positions," said Phoebe.

"And how would you know that?" yelled Monica.

"Oh, someone told me," said Phoebe.

"Who told you?" asked Monica answering her own question by looking at Chandler. "I can't believe you told her that. I thought that stuff was private."

"Yeah, well you told Rachel that I stripped for you last week," said Chandler defending his argument.

"Well... I did not know that she told you that," said Monica while giving Rachel an evil look.

"Mon, no offense, but I think it's kinda sad that you can't do any of those positions," said Phoebe trying to make a point. "Maybe you should watch Ross's movie."

"What?" yelled Monica.

"Or you know, I could show you," said Phoebe trying to help out.

"I second that!" shouted Joey. "I could help out too, you know."

"No" shouted Monica and Chandler at once.

"I think that everyone needs to leave now," said Chandler.

"Oh, all right," said Joey bummed. "Oh Chandler, can I have the Playboy?"

"Sure man, considering you ripped out most of the pages of the naked chicks and stuffed them in your pants pocket," said Chandler.

"Thanks man!" said Joey leaving the apartment.

"All right, well I guess we better head out too, we have to be at Ross's work in an hour for a party," said Rachel.

"Oh," said Monica. "Do you think you can watch the twins while me and Chandler you know."

"No, I am dropping Emma off at my mom's house," said Rachel.

"Oh well, all right,"said Monica.

"Mon, why do you want to do it with Chandler now? I thought you were mad at him," said Phoebe.

"I want to show him that I can do some stuff," said Monica giving an evil look at Chandler.

"I am sorry Mon. I won't ever do anything like that to hurt you. I love you and if it isn't that good tonight, then I will get you a book on how to do it better," said Chandler making a joke. "See I am not that rusty."

"Okay, I love you, too," said Monica. "Phoebs, can you watch the twins?"

"Sure, if I can bring them back to my place," said Phoebe.

"Why can't you watch them here?" asked Monica.

"Have you ever heard you guys going at it? It sounds like a war that has many atomic bombs going off," said Phoebe.

"Phoebes, wouldn't that be WWIII?" asked Chandler.

"Okay! _DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THE TWINS AND WATCH THEM SO YOU GUYS CAN DO IT, OR DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE WITHOUT THEM SO YOU GUYS CAN REMEMBER HOW BAD YOU DID DO IT_?" screamed Phoebe.

"Take the twins and go!" shouted Chandler terrified.

Phoebe left with the twins and took them to her apartment.


	2. The Advice

(Chapter Two)

**The Advice**

Phoebe is in the hall with the babies.

"Oh hello there little Jacky and little Erica. You guys are so cute and precious," said Phoebe. "OH GOD! What is that smell though?"

Phoebe puts both of the babies in the air and smells each butt at a time.

"Oh! Sweet Jesus!" screamed Phoebe. "You smell like crap, little Jack, or shit wait, is it little Erica?"

"Wow Gosh Phoebs, what are you doing in the hall?" asked Joey as he walked in looking at Phoebe smelling the baby butts.

"Oh, hey Joe, just trying to see which one smells more like crap," said Phoebe with a smile on her face.

"Well, I don't think it's the one you are smelling," said Joey looking at the babies.

"Why's that?" asked Phoebe.

"Because the other baby has crap coming down his or her leg onto your shirt," said Joey.

"Oh, wow! Look at that, it's like a little mud river going ONTO MY SHIRT!" said Phoebe now realizing crap was going onto her shirt. "Bad baby Jack, no wait! Bad Erica! Crap I forget what one is which and there is crap everywhere! Monica and Chandler owe me big time!"

"Yeah, they owe you that, plus, it looks like they owe you a new shirt too," said Joey. "And if you don't hurry up, they owe you a new pair of pants too!"

"Oh God Joey! Help me! Please help me!" said Phoebe mercifully.

"Okay, all right, I will," said Joey giving into Phoebe's plea. "Come on, bring them into my apartment, but dear God women, don't get any crap on the floor."

"Joey, if you don't shut up, I will put crap in your mouth, and not just this baby's crap but the other one's and maybe mine!" shouted Phoebe.

"Okay Phoebs, calm down, everything will be all right," said Joey. "When Rachel lived hear, I stole some of her clothes."

"Why did you steal some of her clothes?" asked Phoebe still trying to hold the babies at once.

"I thought it would be fun to try some of them on," said Joey smiling but half embarrassed.

"And..." said Phoebe.

"Well, let's just say that I didn't like the tight jeans," said Joey. "I zipped my manly hood place."

"Oh gosh, damn that must have hurt," said Phoebe.

"Yeah, well not as much as to trying to unzip it," said Joey.

"Joey don't get mad, but there is crap on your floor now," said Phoebe looking down at the floor.

"How is there crap on the floor?" asked Joey. "The baby that is pooping is in the sink. How did it get in the sink?"

"Oh, well I put it there, because I can only deal with so much crap on myself," said Phoebe sharply.

"But how is there crap on the floor then?" asked Joey.

"The other baby started to poop," said Phoebe.

"Gosh! These babies butts' run like a duck's ass!" screamed Joey.

"Okay, Joey, I am going to put the other baby in the sink, too, that way we can clean up this pile of well... crap," said Phoebe.

"I'll go and get Rachel's clothes," said Joey as he entered his room.

"Okay! Then I will start cleaning up the floor with this wonder broom that Chandler bought," screamed Phoebe as she went into the closet to get it.

"Phoebs, what size bra are you?" asked Joey in his room.

"Eww! I am not going to tell you that, you pervert," said Phoebe.

"No, it's just that Rachel's size is 36 C," said Joey. "I was wondering if you wanted to wear the one that I stole from her."

"Oh, yeah good idea, of course mine are bigger, but really it's the smaller bra the better," said Phoebe.

"Well, here, I will just bring out all of the stolen clothes," said Joey as he walked out of his room into the kitchen.

"Eww! Joey! Those aren't clothes! That's lingerie!" said Phoebe. "Wait though, whose jeans did you try on?"

"Well, don't get mad, but they were yours," said Joey.

"What!" yelled Phoebe.

"I said don't get mad, so you can't get mad!" said Joey.

"Oh, damn! I hate that rule. I am not mad, but so is that why when Rachel gave them back to me the zipper was off?" asked Phoebe.

"Yeah, I had to get some pliers and peel it off," said Joey. "It was the longest thirty minutes of my life."

"Oh, gosh! That must've been hell," said Phoebe.

"Yeah, it was," said Joey.

"Well I guess I better go to my apartment and get changed," said Phoebe as she picked up both of the babies from the sink and went out of Joey's apartment.

Monica and Chandler are in their robes in the kitchen.

"Man that was the best I have ever had!" said Chandler.

"You betcha!" said Monica. "But I have had better."

"What!" said Chandler shocked. "Oh, you better not be talking about Richard!"

"Oh! The one and only!" said Monica.

"Fine you know what! I could be just like Richard!" said Chandler. "I might not be able to afford a jaguar, but I definitely can grow a mustache!"

"Oh okay, sure, that's why my best time was with Richard!" said Monica sarcastically.

"Then what was it?" asked Chandler.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but you have to use this as advice," said Monica.

"Fine, I will," said Chandler making a weird look. "Use it as advice. I will. What made him better?"

"He wasn't selfish when you know," said Monica.

"You know . . . what?" asked Chandler.

"When we were doing-," said Monica before Chandler interrupted her.

"Okay! All right! Stop it! Don't finish that sentence!" said Chandler.

"Well, you were stupid enough to ask," said Monica.

"I have got to get out of here," said Chandler as he was leaving the apartment and heading for Joey's.

"Joey! Joey! Open up!" said Chandler knocking on the door.

"Yeah, what is it man?" said Joey looking at Chandler and wondering why he was in his robe. "Oh, you need some advice."

"Yeah!" said Chandler outraged as he flung his hands up in the air.

"Dude, your showing yourself to me," said Joey as he turned away from Chandler.

"Oh yeah, sorry man," said Chandler as he fixed his robe. "What does it mean by not being selfish in bed?" asked Chandler.

"Oh, are you trying to be better than Richard?" asked Joey.

"Yeah! How did you know that?" asked Chandler stunned.

"Monica told me he was the best she ever had," said Joey. "Isn't that a song?"

"Yeah, I don't know," said Chandler not worrying about if it was a song.

"Yeah, I think it is, by Gary Allen!" said Joey. "So you sailed away into-."

"Joey! Quit singing the song and help me out. How do I not be selfish?" asked Chandler.

"Focus on her needs," said Joey. "It isn't rocket science."

"Yeah, well it's, sex science!" said Chandler.

"Man, can you go now, I have to clean up this floor. There is crap all over it," said Joey.

"All right thanks man," said Chandler as he was leaving for his apartment. "Oh hey, don't use that wonder broom. I am gonna give it to Monica for a birthday present."

"Oh, crap!" said Joey.

"What was that?" asked Chandler.

"I said give her the best she's ever had!" said Joey covering up his comment before that while he was the looking at the broom with crap all over it.

"Monica! Monica!" screamed Chandler as he entered their apartment.

"Yeah! What do you want sweetie?" she asked as she was cleaning the bathroom.

"Get into the bed room! I am gonna give you the best you've ever had!" screamed Chandler.

"I love that song!" said Monica.

"Yeah, okay just get into the bedroom now," said Chandler as he walked inside with Monica following behind him.


	3. The Lost Baby

1(Chapter Three)

**The Lost Baby**

Ross and Rachel just dropped off Emma at her grandma's house and are now in their car.

"Ross, I don't know if I like this car. It just doesn't feel safe," said Rachel.

"What are you talking about Rach? It's a Volvo, it's one of the safest cars in the world," said Ross trying to comfort Rachel.

"I don't know, it just feels different," said Rachel.

"You mean like not a motorcycle different?" said Ross. "Because those aren't safe!"

"No, of course not," said Rachel thinking about Chip's motorcycle.

"Yeah, it's about Chips motorcycle," snapped Ross.

"What are you, like a damn mind reader?" asked Rachel.

"Yeah, I knew it!" shouted Ross.

"Ross, Chip doesn't mean anything to me anymore, it's just, I miss that motorcycle," said Rachel. "We had so many great times on it, and we not only drove to places on it, we..."

"Ewww! Gross! I don't want to hear about that," said Ross while driving the car.

"Ross, slow down! We are going way too fast!" said Rachel. "We don't have time for this, we need to get to your party for work."

"Oh no! We are not going to that party anymore!" shouted Ross.

"Fine! Then where are we going?" asked Rachel furiously.

"You'll see," said Ross.

Phoebe is in the coffee shop with the twins.

"Yes, Gunther, can you get me one coffee please?" asked Phoebe.

"Yeah, but you know that you have crap on your leg?" asked Gunther.

"Just the coffee would be great, _PLEASE_!" screamed Phoebe.

"Umm, I don't know if I like that tone. If you yell at me again, I will I have to kick you out," said Gunther.

"Oh, really, you would do that, _tough_ guy?" said Phoebe sharply. "I lived on the streets when I was a teenager! I eat crap like you for breakfast!"

"That's it! Get out!" yelled Gunther.

"Oh, you are just plain... plain... _MEAN_!" yelled Phoebe.

A police man enters the shop.

"Sir, are you all right?" asked the police man to Gunther.

"No, this lady-," said Gunther before he was interrupted by Phoebe's screaming.

"Miss, will you please just shut up?" asked the police man annoyed.

"No, I will not shut up!" yelled Phoebe. "This man tried to molest my babies!"

"Oh my gosh, really?" asked the police officer.

"No! That's not tru-," said Gunther before Phoebe interrupted him again.

"He not only tried to molest them, he tried to steal them!" screamed Phoebe. "You tried to steal my babies! You, _YOU SICK FREAK_!"

"Mam, you are aware that your babies have crap all over them?" asked the police man. "You do know that you have their crap on you too."

"Okay! We are just gonna blow past this," said Phoebe irritably. "Gunther! Just go behind that counter and get me a _damn_ coffee so I can get out of here and change!"

"But-!" said Gunter.

"You heard the crazy woman! Go and get her some coffee before she turns into Satan's wife!" screamed the police man. "Oh, and get me some tea. Oh, and with lemon."

"_What are you, some kind of little girl_?" asked Phoebe furiously to the police man when Gunther went behind the counter to get them their drinks."

"Mam, do you want to go to jail?" asked the police man sharply..

"_Gunther_! Hurry up with that coffee!" screamed Phoebe as she ran to the counter to get it. "Thanks Gunther."

"Phoebe, you have to pay for that!" yelled Gunther as Phoebe ran out of the coffee shop with the babies.

"Man, she got crap all over me," said the police man.

"Yeah, she's kinda weird, but in a sexy way," said Gunther.

"You're weird," said the police man.

"Oh, here is your tea, you little girl" said Gunther sharply after he spit in it.

"Ross, what are you doing?" asked Rachel curiously.

"We are going to have our own _great _times in our new Volvo!" screamed Ross.

"Ross! I love you, I don't love Chip at all! I just like to remember highschool!" said Rachel trying to calm him down.

"Well, I don't care, we are still going to have a good time in this Volvo tonight!" screamed Ross as he parked in an empty parking lot.

"Ross, we are not doing this." said Rachel annoyed.

"Turn on the radio!" screamed Ross.

"Oh, okay," said Rachel terrified and also giving into Ross's command.

"Rach, I love you so much. I just want you to remember our good times," said Ross.

"Oh, honey, I do, I remember Valentine's Day and our first time," said Rachel. "I love you so much."

"I love you more than anything," said Ross as he leaned in to kiss Rachel.

"I love you, too," said Rachel leaning in to kiss Ross.

Phoebe enters her apartment.

"Oh, yes finally, now I can get some good smelling clothes on!" she said thankfully. "But before I do, where should I put you little guys so you can't run away?"

"Oh! I will just put you guys in the bathtub," said Phoebe as she was trying to close her apartment door.

"Gosh dammit!" yelled Phoebe. "This stupid door won't close! You know what _door_, Fine! I will just leave you open!"

"Hey! Babies! Remind me to fix the door! Oh yeah! That's right, you can't talk!" said Phoebe in a bad mood as she was walking inside the bathroom to put the babies in the tub.

"Now, you stay here in the tub and when I get back, I can give you a bath and get you changed into, well, clothes that don't have crap on them," said Phoebe to the babies in the tub.

"Ross, that was so amazing," said Rachel. "You are so much more than Chip."

"Aw, Rach, I am only amazing because you make me amazing," said Ross. "I love you."

"I love you so much more," said Rachel. "Now, come on, let's go home. I told my mom to keep Emma for the night."

"Oh all right," said Ross as he got up and started to turn on the car. "But did you really do it on his bike?"

"No, we never did it on his bike," said Rachel. " I just wanted to make this memory permanent in my mind."

"Oh, I know it will be in my mind," said Ross.

"Oh! God yes!" said Rachel. "Now let's go home."

"Oh, little babies, who is ready for a bath?" asked Phoebe as she walked inside the bathroom with her knew clothes on.

"What! Where is the other baby, Jack? No wait! Erica! Crap, I forget which one is which! Where did the other baby go?" yelled Phoebe as the baby started to cry.

"Oh just _GREAT_!" yelled Phoebe. "I am starting to make you cry! Well, you know what? Cry your little baby ass off!"

As Phoebe looked throughout her apartment, she said, "Oh, little baby Jack or Erica, come out, come out where ever you are."

"Please come out and show you little baby face," pleaded Phoebe starting to freak out.

"Come out to your nice Aunt Phoebs!" said Phoebe as she walked into the kitchen with the other baby in her hands.

"Oh dear God! Please stop crying!" she screamed to the baby she was holding.

"You know what! I should call Joey and ask him to help me!" said Phoebe thinking of a solution.

"Hi! Joey! I need your help!" said Phoebe on the phone. "I lost one of the babies and need you to help me find it."

"You lost one of the babies?" yelled Joey on the phone. "Which one?"

"Oh, crap! I don't know!" cried Phoebe. "I can't tell them apart. It doesn't matter!"

"Well, look to see which one it is," said Joey.

"Fine! Okay! I will!" said Phoebe as she looked at the baby after she took off its diaper. "It's Jack! I have the boy baby!"

"Okay! That's good! I will come over and help you find, umm, what was her name again?" asked Joey.

"_ERICA_!" screamed Phoebe. "Now get your ass over here and help me find Erica, Tirbbiani!"

"Okay, I'm on it!" said Joey petrified as he hung up the phone on her.

"_What kind of asshole hangs up on a lady who can't find one of her babies_?" screamed Phoebe madly.


	4. Midnight, Central Park

1(Chapter Four)

Midnight, Central Park

Chandler and Monica are in their bed.

"Man that was amazing!" said Monica.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Chandler.

"What do you mean 'I guess so?'" mimicked Monica.

"Well, I am just saying... It was just okay," Chandler said.

"What are you talking about? I am doing the best I can!" yelled Monica frustrated. "Am I just not plain good enough for you?"

"No, that's not it at all. I am just saying, we might need to spice it up a little," said Chandler. "Go to the entrance at Central Park, midnight tonight."

"Chandler, do you even know what day is tomorrow?" asked Monica sounding concerned.

"Sunday?" said Chandler who wasn't sure at all.

"No you idiot! If you can't even figure out what day it is tomorrow, then I don't think I can be around you!" screamed Monica.

"Oh no! Wait! It's not Sunday tomorrow! It's Monday!" screamed Chandler thinking he got the answer right.

"You are unpredictable, Chandler Bing!" yelled Monica.

"Okay, whatever Monica _Bing_!" argued Chandler back.

"You know what, I am leaving this apartment right now! I am still debating on if I should meet you or not!" screamed Monica as she got out of bed and slammed the bedroom door after she walking into the family room.

"Yea well... What do you care, maybe you could learn something if you just went to Central Park tonight!" screamed Chandler.

"Fine!" screamed Monica. "I am out! I don't need to learn anything! If my husband loved me, he would appreciate the way that I do things in and out of bed!"

"Okay, but please just come at midnight!" pleaded Chandler.

"I'll think on it, _Bing_!" said Monica sarcastically.

Joey enters the Bing's apartment.

"Hey Monica, do you have some carpet cleaner I can use and maybe some Tide?" asked Joey.

"What do you need that stuff for?" asked Monica.

"Well, I sort of had an accident," said Joey.

"Oh my gosh, Joey! Did you let the duck eat your left over turkey sandwich again?" asked Monica.

"Oh yeah! That's what I did! He, well, let's just say my apartment looks like a mudslide has just crushed a whole village, there is crap everywhere," said Joey thinking that he had told her a pretty good lie.

"Oh yeah! Here! Go ahead and have it," said Monica as she was getting him the supplies.

Joey's cell phone starts to ring.

"Oh crap," said Joey.

"What is it?" asked Monica.

"It's Phoebe," said Joey.

"Hey Phoebs," said Joey as he answered his phone.

"JOEY TRIBBIANI! YOU GET YOUR CATHOLIC ITALIAN ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! I CANNOT FIND THAT STUPID BABY!" screamed Phoebe on the phone.

"WHAT!" screamed Monica.

"Joey, dear, there is no chance Monica heard that is there?" asked Phoebe sounding pleasant.

"No, she heard it, Phoebs, my volume is all the way up and my phone is on speaker phone!" said Joey.

"What do you mean you can't find my baby?" yelled Monica.

"Phoebs gotta go! Be over there in a minute!" said Joey as he took the supplies and ran out of the apartment.

"Joey! You get your ass back here! Don't you dare run away from me!" said Monica as she was chasing after him. "Man alive! This is just a horrible day! My husband hates me, I find out my baby is lost, and an Italian is running away from me!"

"Man you must want to kill yourself then," said Monica's neighbor as she walked out into the hall.

"Don't you dare butt in on other people's business!" said Monica.

"I can't help it, especially if I can hear you guys through the walls. Your husband doesn't even make a noise when you guys are, well, doing it," said the neighbor.

"Lady, you better shut up right now! I will come over there and-," said Monica before she got interrupted by Chandler as he walked out in the hall.

"Mon, please just meet me at midnight," said Chandler.

"I don't know, I just can't stand you right now," said Monica as she looked at the neighbor. "Well go on! Get out of here!"

The neighbor closed her apartment door and Monica gave it an evil glare.

"Please," asked Chandler.

"Okay fine," said Monica as Chandler was leaving. "Where are you going?"

"Just to well, get a beer," he said lying through his teeth.

"Yeah, well I am going to Phoebe's!" she said as she left the hall.

Joey finally arrives at Phoebe's apartment.

"It's about time Tribbiani!" yelled Phoebe. "What the hell is that stuff for?"

"I thought that maybe you could use the Tide to clean your clothes and use the carpet cleaner to clean the carpet," said Joey trying to sound smart.

"Well you thought wrong! I need A FREAKING BABY DETECTOR BECAUSE THIS BABY IS LIKE JASON BOURNE FROM BOURNE IDENTITY! SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO BE FOUND! I looked in the cabinets, all of the rooms, I even looked in the toilet, I thought she might of like drown herself!" said Phoebe worriedly.

"Calm down Phoebs!" said Joey. "Let's just get this crap cleaned up and then we can look for the baby."

"What crap?" said Phoebe as she looked down at her floor. "Oh my gosh! Those are the baby's crappy hand prints! You are a genius!"

"Yeah? Really? I did pass the ninth grade," said Joey.

"Okay, you start cleaning up and I will find the baby," said Phoebe as she looked at the floor following the baby hand prints.

"Oh wow, this baby shit a lot. What does Monica feed them?" asked Phoebe.

"A lot. When she was little, her parents didn't give her a lot of food, and she was never full so she gave them a lot of food, plus, she gave them this stuff called ex lax, it tastes kinda weird," said Joey.

"Well I guess that would explain the massive amounts of crap," said Phoebe following the baby's crappy hand prints.

"Yeah I guess," said Joey who had no clue what an ex laxative does.

"Come here baby, come to your aunt Phoebs. She will give you some candy. Come out, Come out where ever you are," said Phoebe. "Joey! It's not working! The baby doesn't want to be found. Joey? _Joey_! Are you evening listening to me?"

"Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you-?" Joey sung.

"Joey!" screamed Phoebe.

"Oh dear God," said Joey frightened. "Come on, just sing it. Smelly cat, smelly cat..."

"Joey, wait! I hear something!" said Phoebe. "Keep singing."

"Oh look! I found the baby! She is under my bed... AND THERE IS A RAT TRAP SNAPPED ON HER HAND! OH CRAP! HAHA OH, WHAT A COINCIDENCE, THERE IS CRAP EVERY WHERE!"panicked Phoebe. "Oh dear God, that must've hurt!"

"Oh my God! What happened to my baby?" screamed Monica as she entered Phoebe's apartment.

"Oh nothing. This is just a piece of jewelry I am having her try on," said Phoebe sounding casual.

"Take that damn thing off, I mean dang," said Monica as Phoebe looked at her awkwardly. "I've been trying not to cuss in front of the babies."

"Well, what a good Mom you are," said Phoebe sarcastically.

"Great! Now you think I am a bad Mom! Chandler thinks I am a bad wife! Joey ignored me and my baby has a rat trap still snapped shut on her hand!" cried Monica.

"Oh, it's okay," said Phoebe as she snapped the trap off of the baby's hand and it snapped shut on her's. "OH SHIT! SON OF A BITCH!"

"PHOEBE!" yelled Monica.

"Sorry," said Phoebe. "It snapped my hand. I don't know how your baby didn't cry."

"Well, she is a tough one, she takes after me," said Monica proudly. "Once I dropped her in the kitchen on top of a chair. She didn't cry once. Chandler thought it was awkward that she had a huge bump on her head though. I told him it was that I gave her so many kisses in that spot on her head."

"Chandler actually believed that stupid lie?" asked Phoebe.

"Yeah, well it's Chandler, what do you expect?" said Monica annoyed at the sound of his name.

"Mon, don't worry about a thing! We have something that will put you in a great mood!" said Phoebe.

"Yeah, like what," said Monica unenthusiastically.

"You can clean up all of this crap for us in the apartment! AND YOU CAN CLEAN MY CLOTHES TOO!" said Phoebe with a grin on her face.

"Oh my gosh! Really! Thanks! You guys are the greatest," said Monica. "You and Joey can give the babies a bath while I do this!"

"Okay, although I am kinda babied out today," said Phoebe. "Joey, you do it."

"Okay," said Joey enthusiastically. "I will! Come on Erica, let's go get you and Jack cleaned up."

THUMP!

"What was that?" asked Monica curiously.

"Oh nothing," said Joey. "I kinda just dropped Erica on the tile floor, but she is fine."

"What?" yelled Monica.

"Here Monica, you can use this wonder broom Joey brought over! It works really well!" said Phoebe trying to help make a decoy for Joey.

"Wow, thanks Phoebe's," said Monica totally forgetting about the babies as she cleaned the apartment.

"Well, I am done!" said Joey a half an hour later.

"Me too! Man, that was a lot of crap!" said Monica.

"Yeah," said Phoebe. "Why did you give them an ex laxative anyway and all of that food?"

"I didn't give them that," said Monica. "That stuff was for Joey! He told me he hadn't pooped for a week, so I gave him some prunes to eat and put some ex laxative in his milk."

"Joey!" said Phoebe. "I can't believe you!"

"Yeah, well it tasted nasty, so I gave it to the babies! I didn't know what an ex laxative did. I thought it was some kind of candy!" said Joey.

"Joey, sometimes you are just plain-," said Monica before she looked at the clock seeing that it was 11:56 P.M. "Hey, can you guys watch the babies for me again? I have to go and see Chandler really quick."

"Awwh man! I was gonna go home and-," said Joey before Phoebe answered Monica.

"Yes, of course we will watch the babies!" said Phoebe. "Now go on and git! Git! Old Woman!"

"Old woman!" yelled Monica.

"Just go! Woman!" screamed Phoebe.

"Okay, good bye, thanks," said Monica.

"All right, well I guess I am gonna head out," said Joey as he got up and farted. "Never mind I am gonna stay here and use your restroom."

"Okay," said Phoebe as Joey closed the bathroom door. "Don't fall in!"

"Oh, look at the new little babies that are finally cleaned now and don't smell like crap!" said Phoebe to the babies. "Oh, and Erica, you are allowed to be like your mom, but just don't crawl up anyone's ass sometimes when things around you aren't clean."

"Chandler? Chandler? Where are you?" screamed Monica as she went up to the park's entrance.

And there she found a note.

_Dear Monica, _

_I love you with all my heart. _

_P.S. Follow the rose petals._

And as Monica looked down from the letter on the ground, she saw at least 10,000 rose petals. She kept on following them, with red, blue, pink, yellow, and white rose petals lying everywhere. She followed the path until she saw light up ahead, not electric light, but candle light beyond a couple of dogwood trees.

"Oh my God," said Monica as she entered the sight to where Chandler was. She was in aw at how beautiful and gorgeous it was with flowers and candles placed neatly everywhere.

"Monica," said Chandler as he walked up to her. "I only have a half heart without you. You complete me. I have loved you since the day that we met and since then our love has grown. You give me warmth when I am cold, and you make me feel magnificent about myself. You are forever my spouse and nothing will ever change that. I love you. So Monica..."

"Oh my God," Monica said as Chandler knelt down on his knee.

"Monica, will you renew your vows with me?" asked Chandler and took out a two carrot diamond ring from his pocket.

"Yes!" said Monica as she knelt down and kissed him after he put the ring on her finger. "Rachel's going to be so jealous!"

"Oh and also, Happy Anniversary!" said Chandler.

"Happy Anniversary, Chandler," said Monica. "I am happy to know that you knew what day it is."

"Mon, you do know that you are the best I've ever had," said Chandler holding her in his arms.

"Then why did you tell me that I wasn't?" asked Monica.

"I was making a joke. See I told you that I am not rusty with my jokes," said Chandler smiling.

"Well, this was the best and worst joke ever!" said Monica smiling.

"Only because it was on you," said Chandler still smiling.

"I love you," said Monica looking into his eyes.

"I love you, too," said Chandler as he kissed her.

_ 1/06/06_

_Dear fellow readers,_

_I am especially grateful that you have read my story and I am pleased to say that I am going to continue on writing for this episode of Friends. It will not be called "The One Where the Baby Runs Away". I am just going to start a new story but I am still continuing with the same plot. I might not be able to write it for a couple of days though, because I have exams coming up and I need to study for them, so every now and then you can search for my author pen name_,Jakub, _and see if I have written anything new. _

_Thanks for reading,_

_Sincerely,_

_Jakub_

_P.S. Please write a review:)_


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